90% of the politicians give the other 10% a bad reputation.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule it.

Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful.

Politicians hate risk. Decisions are made on the lowest risk of offending people, especially their voters.

A politician is an animal who can sit on a fence and keep both ears to the ground.

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

In politics, nothing happens by accident. If it happens, you can bet it was planned that way.

The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins.

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other.

A statesman is a politician who's been dead ten or fifteen years.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.

Politics is the art of preventing people from taking part in affairs which properly concern them.

A politician is a person with whose politics you don't agree; if you agree with him, he's a statesman.

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.

The political machine triumphs because it is a united minority acting against a divided majority.

Politicians are like nappies. They should be changed regularly and for the same reason.

The first requirement of a statesman is that he be dull. This is not always easy to achieve.

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.

Politics is the art of the possible, the attainable - the art of the next best.

Politicians are the same all over: they promise to build bridges even where there are no rivers.